Hi there 8F
Please enter your paragraphs as a comment below.
Your task is:
Use your comparison matrix to compare life in Corinda to life in O.
See you in class
Mr Fielke
8F Comparison Paragraphs
November 8, 2010 by mrsfielke
November 8, 2010 by mrsfielke
Hi there 8F
Please enter your paragraphs as a comment below.
Your task is:
Use your comparison matrix to compare life in Corinda to life in O.
See you in class
Mr Fielke
Having arrived by falling down a booby trap, I have witnessed and encountered a new world. This unique world was called ‘O’.
The land of O is a dark, gloomy and very mysterious. It lies many suprises for it’s visitors. As I walk through a town in O, the citizens are stubborn and seem to hate each other. Back at Corinda SHS, the students are happy and are full of joy, mucking around and playing with each other.
As I explored futher in O, the citizens don’t have basic knowledge but only learn how to fight in order to work for Otis Claw. In Corinda SHS, students have an opportunity to learn, work, play, and co-operate with staff and fellow peers. Students have basic right and liberty to do what they want as long as its appropriate.
Great comparison Hai
Well done
One small thing… you need to add a word to the end of this sentence…The land of O is a dark, gloomy and very mysterious (place)
Also in the last line, students have basic rights not right.
Great to see you interacting online.
Thanks for your contributions
Warm regards
Mrs Fielke
Arriving at ‘o’ through a magical cupboard. It is a scary place it is very dark. There is no sports played except for basketball it is so boring It makes me want to eat an apple.
I have just arrived at O the sky is grey. The people here are nasty. They give you no welcome. I wish I was back at home it was colourful. Also at home people take care of me. Here there is no one. Here at O its dark and boring.
I hace just arrived at O. The place is beautiful, filled with animal and plants of all kinds. Here I feel so bored there are no computers, televisions, ipods etc. People that live here are either good or bad and I’m so happy that I am friends with the good ones. I feel that I fit in so well, the good people here love there wildlife protecting every small insect to every large tree. I hope one day people on Earth will understand that we need to protect the wildlife.
Oh and hi Leisha, AlliSON and the rest of 8F
I just noticed i made a few mistakes!
Dear Otis Claw
I hope you are ready for us, because your weak minion has failed to capture us. The world of O shall return back to it’s peaceful ways. I along with Susan shall kill you to do so, if you don’t surrender & hand over the stone.
I hope you make the right decision.
From Ashara
Dear Marna, Nick, Susan and the Woodlanders,
I am very sorry to tell you all that I must leave. This is because none of you will ever want to see my face again, once I tell you what I have done. I have killed Jimmy Jaspers, he looked like he was in too much pain and he was slowing us down. Marna, my beloved wife I will miss you along with the rest of you. But you must fight this battle against Otis Claw without me.
P.S you will all probably never see me again because I am returning to live with the humans where I really belong.
I will miss you all.
Mike Fossil
Love it Allie.
Perfect spelling and punctuation and a really good creative idea
I arrived at ‘O’ by a yellow vapour that a man named Jimmy Jaspers made me sniff. In corinda people travel by walking, car, train, bus, bike and plane. The people/animals in ‘O’ are either evil or good and the leader of ‘O’ is Otis Claw who is evil. In corinda the people are mainly good but maybe sometime a little bit bad. The main problems in ‘O’ are Otis Claw and the halfies wanting to invade earth and the bloodcats. In corinda the main problems are global warming, drugs and murders.
sometimes *
Dear Otis Claw,
I am very sorry master but i have failed. They all fell for my trap of me being a human and let me stay with them, but in the night when i tried to capture Susan a huge Birdfolk picked my up with its claws and threw me over the edge of a cliff but im still alive writing you this letter from the bottom of the cliff.
Yours sincerely,
Martis Ping.
Their are a lot of differences between Corinda and O. It was like entering a terrible dream. The colours are all dark and dull. In corinda every thing is rich in colour, so I guess I’m not in Corinda anymore. Trees are all shriveled and grey instead of being tall and green. I see strange people wearing strange clothes, no one is wearing ordinary clothes. The sky is the same colour of everything else, not bright and filled with colour.
Lovely Mark, great work as always
Dear Odo Cling,
Do you really think that you would send me to kill a small girl? I have changed my mind and decided to keep your riches but I will not complete the task that you have given me. I am a mercinary, hired to hunt the most deadly of people but instead you sent me to kill this harmless girl. She convinced me that you are bad people doing bad things and I deeply agree with her. So I have changed sides and I will protect this girl with my all and take on all the pity guards that you will send to stop me.
From your ex-minion
Desterin
Hi again Mark
Mercenary is one of those words many people spell incorectly. It makes sense that it would be written the way you chose as mercy and merciful use this pattern. However mercenary has a different root and meaning.
All the best
Comparison: Before Shy – After Shy
Before Susan had smelt The Shy, just when she came into O. She felt trapped and alone.Susan was confused as all she could see was one colour. The food that she ate was dull and boring, and everything around her felt cold. But after she had smelt the beautiful scent of The Shyshe felt a warm and happy feeling overwhelm her. Susan felt excited and joyful in the delight of seeing colours she had never seen before.
I think I made a few mistakes.
Mostly typos Allie, it happens to us all
Great creative writing and comparisons
Before Susan breathed in the shy scent , Susan felt miserable, sad and confused becaused the world around her was dull. After she was sighted she felt overwhelmed and so excited to see so many beautiful colours. The world that Susan thought was grey, dull and boring was actually beautiful and with many creatures, she felt so joyful and excited.
hi Allie and Leisha
Lovely creative writing. It’s a real pleasure to read your work Cindy. You will go very far with your work ethic and talent.
Extra work`
-Before Susan obtained the shy, she was afraid. Everything in her sight was grey, a mono-coloured environment, her hair was grey.
So confused, she didn’t know what to do. She felt like she was trapped in a solitary environment, alone. After smelling the scent of the shy, she was relieved, full of joy, knowing that she was not alone. Colours came flowing through her eyes. She was delighted and pleased that everything had colour back into the world.
Beautiful colours instead of one dull, blatant colour.
Hello there Hai
Lovely work. Great descriptions of how Susan would have felt in this scenario.
Your last line needs re-working… I’m sure you can see it for yourself.
that everything had colour back into the world.
I think it is clear that you meant, ‘that all the colour had come back into the world.
Best regards
Mrs Fielke